This guy has been stalking me…

This guy has been stalking me. His name is Nick and he is tall and thin with a creepy hook nose and deep, nice-sad eyes. He’s restless, always tapping his skinny fingers on cereal packets and waiting room armrests and the edge of his pocket; his mind wanders. He ambushed me in the supermarket the other week, and appeared in my car on the way to work. He’s started to show up while I’m in the shower.

But before you call the cops [Mum, if you’re reading this I mean it – put down the phone], it’s ok. He’s not dangerous. He’s imaginary…